I haven’t been writing many posts of the personal nature lately have I? Behind the scenes, I have been focussed on a little bit of self development which is all in an attempt to be more organised, stronger, happier and maybe just a bit more kick arse?
You may of gotten some idea of this from my Post on Saturday which was hell interesting to read back to myself the following day. Queen D was absolutely gobsmacked at my outlandish dropping of the F-Bomb. But I told him to get over it. So he did, in that have another fucking gin and roll his eyes sorta way.
You see, I have felt that what is holding me back from my goals with my online business is all in my head. I have a self fulfilling prophecy that I am just not good enough . When really I want to be good enough, in fact I want to be more than good enough. I want to be ultimately proud of myself and confident as to who I am.
So right now I am sitting in between all that and let me tell you this … it is hell messy.
So what sort of self development exactly have you been doing? I hear you all ask.
Well, firstly, let me introduce you to Jana Kingsford from Mums Juggling Act. This lady is one switched on little lass, and she also runs the Mums Juggling School. I enrolled in her 31 Days To Unjuggle Your Juggling Act online course a month ago. I was so taken with this fast talking, fresh faced, down to earth woman, mother, blogger, business owner that I really hung on her every word. She really is a treasure trove of awesome tips and advice, backed up by her own successes. (she does squats in the shower!! genius…absolute genius)
I listen to Jana’s videos when I am at the gym late at night, peddling away or when I am laying down next to little people helping them off to sleep. Don’t have a heart attack or anything, but I have even started planning out my week in my calendar on my laptop. Even though, I haven’t embraced this fully, it is still a huge step for me and I am managing to keep to it.
I highly recommend Jana’s courses, ebooks and blogs even if you are just home being a Mum at the moment, without all the other added complexities of employment or businesses.
So that is one thing I have been up to.
The other thing is, a lovely bloggy friend of mine (Melissa from Sugar Coat It) pointed me in the direction of In Spaces Between last week. How I didn’t know about this beautiful woman and lovely blog I have no idea.
I honestly think I have my head up my own arse sometimes , as I have been dancing around her social media circles, but yet completely missed finding her blog. So thank you Suger.
I spent the weekend reading Rachel Macdonald and Tara Bliss’s ebook, Spirited. It is almost like the universe threw all of this at me late last week when I was feeling at an absolute loss creatively. Self doubt was rife and the old grumpy Gayel alter ego was telling me to shut up, shut down and just continue to work for someone. Spirited is speaking my language right now. It is throwing thoughts my way I would never of been game to explore. Already it has made me a little stronger.
Now, that brings me to today. The day I finally got a chance to catch up with a beautiful friend who took time out recently to heal her mind, body and soul. She wasn’t in a great place the last time I saw her and I remember thinking, I hope the next time I see you it isn’t for a final good-bye. Yes that is how scary and sad the situation was. Anyway, we drank coffee this afternoon, we laughed and joked about the crazy world we live in and what we had both learnt over the last year. Her more so me. Her strength and stoicism has me in awe. You watch this space, she is going to kick some arse very soon.
So that is what I have been up to just lately.
It has taken a very long time to have the confidence to pay myself with some healing and tools to take on life in a better way. In actual fact, it is possibly all the negativity that I have dealt with since before Christmas that has pushed me to the here.
The anxiety mostly.