Not many things move my family quicker than the holler of ‘GRANNY IS ON HER WAY’.
The house that runs on survival mode mostly when I am working full-time and running this here blog, gets the going over in what seems like a shiz. The arduous tasks of cleaning and tidying seems less like a chore when there is 10 arms throwing their weight around to have everything sparkling in the hours prior to the grand arrival.
It was during the shiz this morning that I found myself day dreaming at the clothes line. (as you do when all those that are normally nipping at your ankles are busy with scrubbing their bed rooms with in an inch of their lives)
Please be entertained while reading about my day dreams today. Please also consider breeding child genius’s to help me reach my dreams.
Without further a do, I wish to tell you about the 5 Domestic Inventions I Would Like To See Before I Die.
1. The 4 in 1 Washing System. This all in one laundry system sorts, washes, dries, folds. All user need do is take their washing to the laundry, close the door, turn the door knob to activate then head back to the kitchen for a glass of chardy. 4 hours later the clothes are ready to be placed away in closets by user. (Future models may also include this task)
2. The Drive Through Fuel Station. No leaving car and touching grubby fuel pumps necessary. User just drives car up to bowser, flashes payment card and fuel bowser does the rest. User can spend time text messaging friends from the comfort of her car to organise wine time.
3. The Self Ordering Food Keeping System. Replaces the need for a pantry and refrigerator. An all in one system that chills, freezes or keeps goods at room temperature depending on the products requirements. On removal of any particular product, the Food Keeping System adds the product to its own shopping list. Once a week this list is sent to the grocery store and delivered back to Food Keeping system with in 4 hours. No need for user to touch filthy shopping trolleys and can continually have her wine bottles replaced as she consumes them. Leaving no suffering from an empty wine fridge.
4. The Invisible Chef. When required the Invisible Chef will stand in and cook healthy and hearty meals. The Invisible Chef will cater to all food requirements, specialising in using no processed foods and limiting sugar. The Invisible Chef steps up the challenge of running the Kitchen when the owner sends an SMS with dish request and time for serving. The Invisible Chef can come as a special deal with the Self Ordering Food Keeping System. If purchasing both together, a life time of Cab Sav is supplied.
5. The Self Cleaning Home. THE ULTIMATE IN LIFESTYLE MAXIMISATION. (When purchasing a Self Cleaning Home the Self Ordering Food Keeping System and Invisible Chef come FREE and the life time supply of Cab Sav comes along for the ride )No longer would home owners be tied to the cleaning of their homes. User simply ensures the home is all shut up, leaves via the front door and turns door handle to ACTIVATE. User must then spend the next 8 hours out of the home. If she chooses to do so, she can go and earn a living, sit on Facebook at her local coffee shop networking, organise the weeks meals via the Invisible Chef, visit local bottlo for wine specials or even better visit local wineries instead, taking in a cheese platter as some sustenance, all while the Self Cleaning Home busy’s itself with tidying, dusting, shining, vacuuming, scrubbing and mopping. On returning back to the Self Cleaning Home, a courtesy bubble bath has been drawn and The Invisible Chef has kindly laid out a chilled bottle Champagne. Home should not require another 8 hour deep clean for another 7 days. Light cleaning modes can be set in between this time for a period of 2-3 hours.
So friends. That is what I want. Shouldn’t be hard. Look how far we have come in the last 30 years. I would have never imagined the day I started school that the humble old telephone with its long curly cord would be replaced with a small rectangle device that sits in my pocket. Nope not ever.
Do you have any other Domestic Inventions you would like to see before you die, or have I covered them all?
How is your cutlery drawer? Ready for Granny and the disapproving eye when she goes for a fossick in drawers and cupboards? Or not so ready but have a shit load of wine to help you navigate through such a visit?