Mummy Mayhem

Honey…It’s Tan time!

26 October, 2012


So I have this friend who is becoming notorious for looking like she showers in Fanta.

Once again this evening I have come near to wetting my nickers with the image of her latest disaster greeting me via MMS while I was cooking dinner.

You see, she has fair skin and may or may not have ginger hair too but refuses to flash anything but a rather bronzed version of herself during the warmer months.

So this is where her ever the DIY handy husband comes in.

I imagine it goes like this….

Honey, sweety, darling…it’s tan time! He rolls his eyes and attempts not to hear. Continuing on with his beloved Minecraft game.

Once again he hears..HONEY! It is tan time..move it! Lol

Spray can in hand he is given the task to dowse his wife in fake tan. She is very trusting huh? My husband would write something on my back with it for sure,then proceed to encourage me to wear that backless dress.

Moving on..

The last two attempts at gaining the correct shade has been a little bit problematic.

The first one, days before a family wedding made her look like Snooki. But hey, her teeth looked white. (I instructed my husband not to ask questions when he saw her next but told my kids to ask if she was part Mediterranean..of course they had to add in Mum told us to ask you…grrrr)

The second attempt… Tonight. Well the gut laughs keep rolling with them running out of tan half way through so she has missed her face but some how managed to get it in her eye?? Her poor husband. He will be wanting to hook up his spray gun next and any stuff ups can be sorted out with his gurney.

So bless…I am guessing we won’t be hitting the park this weekend cause someone will be hiding out with her loafer.


So this is me… So white I can be seen as a bright reflection from the moon…Should I allow her to rectify my lily white skin so we don’t look like ebony and ivory when out together …? Or should I just let her hang this one out alone?

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  • Jodi26 October, 2012 at 9:47 pm

    You pair are classic :), thanks for the goodnight giggles

    • Mrs MMM27 October, 2012 at 9:23 am

      Oh crap you worked out who Fanta girl is lol…

  • Nita27 October, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    Oh love this post!! Lol

    • Mrs MMM27 October, 2012 at 6:11 pm

      I think I kept Mrs Fanta’s anonymity yeah?

  • Leigh - Six by the bay2 November, 2012 at 9:57 pm

    Too funny! Go al-natural I say! Ive recently had a spray tan but now need to even myself out. Its funny the measures we go to to look tanned! x

    • Mrs MMM3 November, 2012 at 1:34 pm

      I am going to try the DoveSummer Glow for cup day this week…I find that gradual and more natural..

  • FoodMuster2 November, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    She so needs to hang this one out alone…she has to learn right?? My SIL did a spray tan as she is a beautician and thankfully she has three brothers (hubby included) to bring her back to earth on that attempt! She is half scottish for goodness sake, she is never meant to be brown!! I love your showering in Fanta comment, I might steal that if you don’t mind!!! Found you on FYBF:)

    • Mrs MMM3 November, 2012 at 1:33 pm

      Go for it..makes me giggle when I see someone that shade of orange!

  • Nicky Swan3 November, 2012 at 8:20 am

    Hilarious! I could never get my spray tan right, so gave it up, apart from my wedding day. Wedding photos have me looking like a satsuma perched on top of a pile of mash potato

    • Mrs MMM3 November, 2012 at 1:31 pm

      Haha…oh dear! Not the day you wish to look like the colour of citrus at all!!

  • Cassandra j3 November, 2012 at 10:05 am

    The worst is if it’s applied incorrectly and you get wet, it looks like you’re melting!
    I’m not a fake tan fan, but I’ve dabbled.
    It’s a bit of fun, you should try it. Maybe not before a big event, but just for funsies,

    • Mrs MMM3 November, 2012 at 1:30 pm

      I am about to fake a ‘summer glow’ for Melbourne Cup Day…not sure I have the confidence for a full on fakie!

  • Catherine Rodie Blagg (Cup of Tea and a Blog)3 November, 2012 at 1:14 pm

    Hilarious!! I’ve always been too nervous to try fake tan, I grew up in Essex where half the population are orange ­čÖé

    • Mrs MMM3 November, 2012 at 1:29 pm

      Lol…I spent some time living in the UK and know exactly what you are talking about!

  • Grace3 November, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    Noooo! Don’t turn into a mandarin! Stay your natural colour! Look at Nicole Kidman – porcelain white skin and she’s so proud of it!

  • Fran @ travelgenee3 November, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    In the end I just accept I have white legs. Mr TG says I cause snow blindness. I just say put on your sunglasses then.

    • Mrs MMM4 November, 2012 at 1:52 pm

      I never learn every year I bring out the fake tan and every year I think why?? Lol…

  • Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions4 November, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    Being one of those people my husband calls a bitch (naturally olive skin-toned) I have been fortunate enough to never really have needed the fake tan, though as I get older my legs get paler and paler as they see less and less sun and one day, who knows. If only they could make me up a fake tan like they do with paint, you know. They take a swatch from my arms and match the tan for my legs to that! I’d pay good money for that!

    • Mrs MMM4 November, 2012 at 10:26 pm

      I love this idea Kylez! Totally agree…the old fake tan needs more shades. I would happily stand in front of tan swatches to get the correct shade.

  • How to Rip Off A Quick Spray Tan While At The Local Speedway. Or Maybe Not? | Modern Mummy Mayhem10 November, 2013 at 8:18 am

    […] If I was an entrepreneur I would start formulating a au’ natural spray tan potion from the red dirt that our town is famous for. I will leave this for Mrs W. She is the spray tan expert. […]

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