Prior to his birth people would assert on us their opinions on his boy bits. On whether they would require surgery shortly after his arrival ‘so they were more socially acceptable … and clean.’ As in circumcision.
I thought to myself, if my effing body grew that piece of skin .. then it was staying on him. I had no right what so ever to assault him. However people thought it ok to assault me with their views.
*insert eye roll here
After he was born he screamed. A lot. So people told me I had to give up breastfeeding him as that was for sure the reason why he was screaming. Some even threatened to withdraw their support of me if I didn’t do so.
I thought .. that effing milk was created especially for him by me and no made in a factory formula would be as good. But people continued to cry over spilt milk more about my breastfeeding him than my boy did whilst he hung off my boob…happily.
*insert eff you to those non supporters look here.
During his early days I was stretched for time, and whilst I was the master multi skiller …I chose to buy disposable nappies rather than the very trendy modern cloth nappies which would involve me spending a lot of time hanging out in my laundry rather than hanging about with a boy on my boob or you know..just being a Mum to my other kids. But still people hung their heads in shame at my disregard for the environment.
I thought .. why don’t I ask them to come and do all the washing of these modern cloth nappies for me. So I did and nobody gave a flying fuck then what sat on my son’s arse.
*insert why don’t you walk the walk instead of talking about the shit look here
As he grew up questions arose as to why I still had him in Family Day Care instead of a formal Day Care Centre whilst I was at my day job. I was a little gobsmacked at how people thought institutionalising toddlers was the way forward for the child and society as a whole.
I thought, my son has 1 Family Day Care Mum who loves him like her own. She nurtures him and shares with me his days via picture text messages and she was also my friend. My other partner in this Motherhood shebang. Kids need that continuity and to be very honest .. I needed that to feel comfortable returning to work.
*insert a half cocked eyebrow
Now he is 4 there is much talk surrounding his possible entry into Prep next year. I have always said I would prefer to start him later and having him do 2 years of kindy if required was fine with me. But the last couple of months our little boy has changed here at home and he is showing what we believe are signs he is ready. And when I say us .. I say Granny, his Family Day Care Mum, His Dad and Aunts.
Contrary to this is his behaviour over the last month or so surrounding going to Kindy and even being at Kindy. He cries. He is stressed and he consistently comes home upset. It is thought by some in the know that his social skills aren’t up to scratch and he would be better to spend another year at Kindy. Which I would be fine in doing IF I KNEW my son wasn’t also dealing with arseholes while doing this ‘maturing’. Being told to go away at the age of 4 ‘we don’t want to play with you’ is equally as hurtful as it is at 34.
My thoughts right now are starting to highly question if it is really lack of social skills that is holding him back or a higher bloody sensitivity in knowing who he wants to deal with and who he doesn’t. And if this is the case, he is already one step ahead of many his age.
*insert a I do not care if you think I am an arsehole Mother look…cause maybe I am.
So I come back to this one thing .. As his Mother I know best.
I have always parented instinctually, dappled with facts for safety purposes and been guided by my children rather than what others think.
I wrote the book on ‘talk to the hand cause my head ain’t listening’ when it come to
well meaning crap advice.
If I cock up therefore, I have myself to blame, but also, if I cock up I will be the first to notice. Because I am that involved in my kids lives. I will therefore make changes where required.
Now, I don’t know about you but when I got pregnant I didn’t need a degree to do so. In fact every time I did try to finish my psych degree I got pregnant and it all went out with the dirty disposable nappies.
So in the absence of a formal parenting qualification I am thinking going on my gut instinct is serving me and my child well.
And you know what, I think you should go on your gut instinct too. It will not fail you or your child.
*insert confident grin here.