Mummy Mayhem Paediatric Reflux

THAT Is My Bed Mummy

10 March, 2013

I write this post as I lay down with Lil D to feed him off to sleep in our bed. He has never slept in his own room all night ever. I have a million things to get done as I do every night but settling my little boy peacefully down to sleep is our priority.

When his Sisters are home it is our routine to put them to bed first. Lil D often jumps into bed with them while we read a story or talk about our day but then as I turn off the lights he makes a dash for our bed where he waits for me to come in.

Some would say that at 22 months old, the fact he doesn’t sleep alone or even nod off to sleep without me holding him is going to cause us issues in the future. I would of probably been one of those people a few years ago too.

I barely care though. Few will ever understand the horror I felt when I discovered Lil D not breathing one morning when I was desperately rushing to get the girls to school. He was 3 weeks old and in those seconds when I grabbed him and threw him onto my shoulder praying for him to start screaming again, all of my parenting ideals went out the window.

For weeks I barely slept unless Mr MMM was around to watch our little man. He slept upright on our chests. I believed that while he was listening to our hearts nothing would take him away from us.

Eventually, he was diagnosed with severe infant reflux and whilst diagnosis should of made things better for us it didn’t and I continued to muddle along. The one thing I knew I could do was get him to sleep a little if I slept with him. We ensured it was always done in the safest of ways and mostly we slept upright with him on our chests as this helped the reflux anyway.

The habit was formed way back then and tonight he really doesn’t need to be sleeping in our bed as things are alot better. He should be sleeping with his baby doll and teddy that he so lovingly puts to bed in his own bed in his own room. However, he isn’t. He is in our bed. Right there beside us if he gets reflux during the night and needs some help, right there if he needs a breastfeed and right there in the morning to say Good Morning Mummy, Good Morning Daddy. Precious. My heart aches just thinking of his sweet little voice.

I know co-sleeping isn’t for everyone and nor should it be. The safety of the baby is of the utmost priority, however in our situation it was how we survived mentally and physically so we did everything we could to make it safe. Infact, many couldn’t sleep the way we still do on the edge of the bed with no pillows and a toddler asleep spread eagle in the middle, but we somehow do.

Oh how I long for him to sleep in his own bed though … And every night I ask him about trying his own bed and every night he looks at me and points to our bed and says ‘that is my bed’.

I have no idea how or when he will move into his own room. Life is too short to worry about such things.

I will let you know if he is still bringing his size 10 feet into our bed in 14 years time though, but somehow I think this will be unlikely. I pray that by then I have a strapping young man that is calm and sensitive because I have nurtured him through thick and thin.

How do you feel about co-sleeping? Has your ideals on parenting changed from what they used to be?

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  • Mel Lange11 March, 2013 at 9:48 am

    Before I had children I thought it was ridiculous to co-sleep and I always said “I’ll never do that”. However, only a parent knows what it is like to have a child who wakes every 2-3 hours distressed for months on end and after a while co-sleeping becomes a method for survival.

    Thankfully my 8 month old is now starting to sleep in her own cot, after I started using the ‘Save our Sleep’ routine, even sleeping 8:30pm til 6:30am the other night after self-settling. But we couldn’t have gotten through some of those rough patches without co-sleeping.

    • Mrs MMM12 March, 2013 at 12:45 pm

      Hi Mel .. You are right only another parent can understand the exhaustion from being a wake alot to an unsettled bub. Being flexible in your parenting ideas I think is the key to surviving. What works on one child may not on another. Some kids like their own space and sleep better alone whereas others .. They want snuggles all night !

  • Sarah11 March, 2013 at 10:00 am

    I couldn’t co-sleep as I am a bad sleeper with a bad back and i toss and turn all night.. but I could probably change all my thoughts just like you did! if that happened to me I would never put Lovisa down! how scary for you 🙁

    • Mrs MMM12 March, 2013 at 12:42 pm

      Hi Sarah, everyone’s situation is different and if I was in your situation we wouldn’t be co-sleeping either. You wouldn’t want to wake up in more pain for sleeping uncomfortably. Take all those cuddles you can from your little one.. They grow too fast!

  • Jan12 March, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    We coslept for about 10 weeks, when our big baby boy got too big to be comfortable in his bassinet, and was suffering from silent reflux. The only way he would settle was in my arms. Otherwise we were up all day, and all night, and I was a wreck. Then one night he just wouldn’t settle in my arms, and that was when he went into his own cot, which was hard up against my side of the bed, with the drop rail off. That way he was close enough to me that I could reach out to him without getting up at night, and if he did become unsettled, I could just pull him on to the bed. We slowly transitioned to putting him in his room. At 6 1/2 months he still takes medication for his reflux, and his mattress still needs to be elevated, but he is quite happy in his own room. Cosleeping was our saving grace.

    • Mrs MMM13 March, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Wow Jan, well done in getting your little man into his own cot. We haven’t been as successful yet but hoping one day he may just decide it is time to enjoy his own bed. I think co-sleeping (safely) and other attachment parenting techniques are very good survival techniques when battling reflux with little ones 🙂

  • Rebecca15 March, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Well Master N has co-slept also from the beginning as I found it so much easier than anything else. Fast forward and he is now 2 1/2 and I’m 6 months pregnant. I still do as you do do feed him off to sleep at night time but after he is asleep put him in his room. I think what has made his transition easier is at first we started with his mattress on the floor beside our bed. Now the other part that has helped is we live in an old qlder with sunrooms which one joins our bedroom. So we’ve made that room into his bedroom so he is close. So far so good most nights he is sleeping through. When he does wake up he wanders in and climbs up and off we go back to sleep. The other night though we did have a problem. His daddy is a truck driver and started the truck at 4am for work. Normally not a problem but now I’m not laying beside him he woke up to the noise. And as daddy drove out our driveway here is Master N standing on his bed looking out the window crying and saying the most gut wrenching thing your 2 1/2 yr old could ever say “Oh no my daddy is going”
    Soon I will have our new addition. As this is my 4th child I seriously doubt I’m going to change my co-sleeping habits. I started with my eldest who is nearly 16. My mother had the gall to ask me where will I put my cot to which I replied “mum this is my 4th child, I’ve tried using a cot, they just don’t suit me so why even bother putting it back up again. It’s just a dust collector and it gets in my way. ”
    With my eldest 2 though I was a closet co-sleeper. Too afraid to admit it for the scorn that some mothers make you feel. While now I’m older and wiser and a hell of a lot stronger on how I feel about co-sleeping. So much so that I’m not even afraid to in hospital. (I did with Master N) you’ll see when you bring me a box of Jaffa cakes 🙂

    • Mrs MMM27 March, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Sorry for my late reply Bec .. I hadn’t seen this comment amongst all the competition ones. I have just purchased a new mattress for Lil D’s bed and I think we will do similar to you and move him over after he falls asleep. People can be quiet opinionated on parenting and it isn’t fair. What works for one family doesn’t work for the next. I wish now we hadn’t wasted our money on a cot… But hey it looks nice lol.