Some people are scared of heights, some are scared of needles, Mr MMM squeals like a lady when he sees a spider, but me.. I am ok with all of that.
The one thing I am NOT ok with is the Dentist.
An appointment to see the Dentist will ruin my day from the moment I wake up.
There was even one particular day I was running late for an appointment because I was having a full blown panic attack and walked in with red eyes from bawling (after they threatened to charge me if I didn’t turn up).
Bless the sweetheart dentist that day who took great pleasure in telling me I had the gums of an elderly person. Grrrrr. Just kick me while I am down why don’t ya?
There are a couple of real reasons behind my angst which I am sure you will completely understand.
One, is the fact I had a horrible reaction to anaesthetic years ago when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I spent a little time in ICU and all that jazz.
The other, involves a big day out for Melbourne Cup and no other than my big mouth.
I am sure you really want to hear about the later. So I will bravely retell the story of how I doubted the occupation of our local dentist.
As I said it was Melbourne Cup Day and we were all drunkinly loaded back up on the bus to head back into town after a great day out at the localcountry race track.
The track is about an hour out of town so anyone on the bus you don’t know quickly becomes your inebriated bestie.
I was sitting with my boss at the time. She is an absolute hottie and we took up chatting to some lads behind us. One tried to tell us he was a Doctor. We immediately told him what we thought of that BS but he persisted that he was a Doctor.
So drawing from all of the medical terminology we had, we decided to test him and offered him an orchidectomy (testicle removal),the very next day if he did so please. Of course he said no problems and we roared with laughter. Nope, no Doctor would agree to that!
Fast forward a year or so.
I take the kids into the dentist for a check up and immediately want to bury back under my rock. OMFG it was the ‘Doctor’ that had agreed for us to remove his testicles. (This is the small town shit that makes me cringe!!)
Convincing myself he wouldn’t remember the whole ordeal, I managed to ensure my children’s oral health were fine that day and I left breathing a sigh of relief that nothing was mentioned.
Eventually the time came when I really really needed to see the dentist. My anxiety was a million times worse than ever before.
Not only was I frightened of having someone’s hands in my mouth but I was also concerned that this was the man I had offered to perform and orchidectomy on.
Geeze. Rip my fecking teeth out now Doc and fill up my mouth with cement.
Anyway. That is why I struggle with the Dentist.
Now this afternoon, whilst waiting to see the Dentist. (Not the above mentioned dentist I need to add) a lady recognised me from my blog. Yikes. Another anxiety attack right then and there I can tell you. I never thought anyone would recognise me…
It was lovely though. Really lovely. On leaving the appointment Queen D text this ….
Farrier? Charming ;). This old nag didn’t require any dental intervention this afternoon despite the age of her gums.