On a scale of 1-10, I am possibly a 6 when it comes to being a huggable person.
I desperately need hugs daily and give them in plentiful supply to my kids, but it seems I am not the sort of person that receives them.
Maybe I stand awkward. Maybe I look like a hard case. Maybe I appear prickly. Maybe my arms are too short to effectively engage in a hug. Maybe I ride my unicorn far too often to be available. Or maybe I just don’t really deserve them most of the time. But I like them all the same.
My Husband is an expert hugger. It’s what he does for a living. Sadly to get one of his hugs you need to be in the grip of grief and it might cost you around 8k.
I quickly smell a rat when he offers one of these types of hugs. It usually has to do with a required leave pass or he senses he is in some deep doo doo.
Anyway .. today something happened that upset me. I had a cry here at home about it and thought I had put it to rest. Then a friend phoned and asked if I was ok, like he sensed I wasn’t for some strange reason. My voice shook as I answered him dishonestly and tried to change the subject. It was suggested that I needed a hug and I told him that I had no trees in my yard that would appreciate my howling on them.
Later, I had to visit another friend’s house to help her fix something on a project we are working on.
As soon as she saw me she offered up a hug.
So yeah .. I howled. I howled so hard I inhaled her hair. Fuck. Poor woman. I. INHALED. HER. HAIR.
Once I cleared my airway, I dusted myself off and felt much better. It was actually quite odd as to how much better I was feeling.
I drove home feeling stronger and then made a move to never allow myself to be brought down by what had upset me. It was a door that I had needed to close but hadn’t for various reasons. (Actually, I didn’t just close that door, I slammed the bastard and banged some nails in just for good measure.)
So yeah.. hugs hey. Who would have thought?